As my friend Noelle would say… Good times, good times…
NOT!

It all started sooo well. We were packed and ready to go. Everyone was calmly excited (well, for the most part). We got to PDX in plenty of time, quickly checked into the airline and headed off to our gate to wait our 11 p.m. flight to Chicago.
The girls were excited, and wide awake. We ran up and down the halls and rode the people movers trying to get out all the energy we could. The girls had bunches of snacks and were in their jammies anticipating sleeping on the plane.. excitement was in the air! All were happy.

There was a full flight for the trip from PDX to Chicago. I was shocked to find not an empty seat on such a late night flight. We were the only family with kids save one other toddler on board, at least that I saw or heard. Vienna was sooooo excited she did NOT want to sleep. But quickly after take off Ziva nodded off to sleep. After much coaxing, Vienna finally drifted off to sleep, only to wake about 40 minutes later.

She didn’t just wake up. She woke up SCREAMING. Not JUST screaming… but screaming MOMMY MY BUTT HURTS over and over again. (oh yes, such a proud moment). So off to the tiny little confined space they call a lavatory! Vienna cried the whole walk down the long long isle… she wouldn’t walk, so I attempted to carry her without falling into anyone (are isles getting MUCH skinnier to any of you!?!?!) We got to the bathroom and I pulled down the changing table so I could have a platform to stand Vienna on to see what this “pain” she was having was all about. Yes people, I was tired… TIRED I’m saying… was I thinking? NO, I WAS TRIED!

So, off came the jammies and diaper and as I reached for the baby wipes it happened! Suddenly, a full bladder decided that it was time to let go… and let go with a force!!! Not just a gentle little trickle onto the table… but a full on geyser that drenched the whole of the tiny compartment. My shirt, pants, shoes, diaper bag and brand new, perfectly clean socks that were in the front pouch of the diaper bag all be came victims to its flow! All the while mind you my daughter is screaming and crying uncontrollably. There wasn’t much I could to about the incident… it happened so fast, but the sink was the only solution so as quickly as could be expected I just sat Vienna into the sink. Waterfall exhausted I was able to clean the changing table quickly and get Vienna stood up and the new thing of baby wipes open (no small feat while you’re trying to balance a toddler on a little table in a tiny room while the airplane is rocking all about!).

I know what you’re thinking “I will never use an airline bathroom again!!!” But me being the responsible person that I am, and despite the protests of my daughter, I started to swab down what felt like every surface of that tiny little closet! I did ok, until I got to the floor. Now, I’m not a small woman, and there was NO WAY for me to swab up the huge puddles that had appeared on the floor. Not without opening up the door. Now, in this particular airplane arrangement, the bathroom is situated just in front of the stewardess’ jump seat… so, in order to swab the floor, I must squat to the floor and stick my least flattering portion of myself out the door and basically into the face of the stewardess, all the while calling out apologies over my shoulder to her and all the other passengers patiently waiting to use the loo. Remember, Vienna’s still crying uncontrollably (and now complaining of being cold because she has been stripped down to nothing but a diaper!)

I was able to clean everything up (save myself really) and took Vienna back to our seats, got into the over head bin and dug out her jeans and t-shirt and got her dressed before I stared loosing it. In my own defense, I was tired, and tired for me means emotional… so, I left both the girls with Sam and headed back to the back spot in the airplane to have a little cry (so as not to completely flip Vienna out, she can’t stand it when I cry). So, the steward and another passenger were soooo nice about it all, they chatted with me and made me feel much better about the mess we had made in the bathroom! ?

I headed back to my seat and found Vienna still awake. She didn’t sleep the rest of the flight. Finally after long sleepless hours we approached Chicago. However, it was going to be anything but a typical landing! Chicago was having a wonderful thunder shower so we got to stay up in the air an extra long time, lucky us!!

The captain came on over the loud speaker and announced that he was sorry for the delay but he had found a window within the storm with which to land through, so we were going to make an attempt at landing. It was really bumpy and we were getting jostled about enough that Vienna was getting nervous, never mind the strobe light effect the airplane landing lights against the clouds… oh, and then the silly little little thing of having lighting ALL AROUND US!!! Vienna was white as a sheet… an I was getting dizzy!

Vienna was squeezing my hand and asking questions and then staring with terrified eyes at the seat in front of her… Sam was holding Ziva who thankfully remained asleep. We finally touch down and you can feel most of the tension in the plane dissipate. Except for Seat 5c… I’m getting dizzier, and more and more nauseous. Yep, it happened. Four times in fact!! I tried to be as discrete as possible (holding the emergency information folder up on front of the side of my face so those around me couldn’t see) Sam kept Vienna distracted so at least that didn’t cause her to panic more!

We finally deboarded and began to walk through the terminal to find our pending departure gate and wait out the 12 hour lay over that we had. Thankfully we asked before we left the domestic wing… there wasn’t much over in the international wind by way of food and entertainment. So back down to terminal 2 to find the kids play area. We didn’t find it right away, but we found a nice quiet little area (amazing considering how many flights were cancelled/delayed due to the storm) I laid the blanket out on the floor and forced Vienna to lay down and attempt a nap, I laid beside her in hopes of catching a few winks myself, but it didn’t happen. Then I hear it… “ak, ak, ak, slleerrrp” I look up to see Ziva coughing in Sam’s arms, and on Sam’s shirt I saw the evidence of what I knew must have happened. Ziva got sick all over him. Thankfully it had been many hours since she had eaten, so the clean up was not so bad.

Praise the Lord our wait in Chicago was not as difficult as we had anticipated it to be. For several hours Vienna slept peacefully on the floor and Sam dozed off and on with Ziva fast asleep in his arms. I even laid down on the seats for a bit and caught a few z’s before the area we were in filled up with stranded travelers.

After getting some breakfast, and then a little lunch as well, we headed off and eventually found the play area for the kids and let them run around there for a while to have fun. So thankful they had that area for them!

I was anxious to get over to the international terminal and get checked in with LOT (polish airlines) but the guys were in no hurry. Fortunately Vienna was ready to go so we went earlier than the guys had wanted. The line for LOT was REDICULOUS! I have emptied a jar of molasses faster than this line moved!!

We got to the counter and the gal behind the counter says to me “you know that we don’t have seats for you?” WHAATT!?!?! My over tired brain at first did not realize that she jut meant that we didn’t have seats assigned to us and that they didn’t think they had any thing other than single seats throughout the plane to sit in (so we couldn’t sit beside each other at all… this included Vienna who was supposed to somehow sit in a seat all by herself!) Thankfully she skiddered off into another room and came back with seat assignments for the four of us all together (with Matthew directly behind us). Not only did we get to sit together, but we also got to sit at the bulkhead so that we could have more leg room and Vienna could actually lay on the floor and sleep!!!! And thus ended the nightmare that began this travel!!!

We made it to Warsaw just fine and to the gate to our final flight quite uneventfully! Our last flight was easy and blissfully short!!

When we arrived in Kiev we got through Passport Control with just a short wait and no painfully slow clerk with oodles of questions ? nice! Off to collect our baggage, nice and quick and right through customs without any stops! As we approach the exit door to the area where family would be waiting I saw it! ? Right in the front as close to the door as she could be without actually crossing through the door and into the customs area Marie stood… on her tippy toes, waving frantically! Yep, I lost it… exhausted as I was I started crying…. We’d finally arrived!! It was soooo sweet to finally get to hug all the family! The van ride back to Rhizhishv, though bumpy, was great. Ukraine feels a bit like home, even though I’ve never lived here myself. It was nice to recognize the route we were taking back to the village. We arrived at their house around 5pm, Es was here waiting for us and quickly dinner was ready and on the table. Vienna was too tired to eat and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Ziva pretended to eat, but went down soon there after just as easily!

Sam’s parents arrived around 7pm and we were in bed asleep by 9:30 and slept blissfully well with only two wake ups by the girls (and they quickly went back to sleep, so with jet lag and all I expected the first nigh to be much more difficult!!!)
The girls and I woke at 3 a.m. but thankfully we have a nice little device our friends lent us that had a strawberry shortcake video loaded on it, so the girls watched that until it was late enough to go downstairs and play with their cousins who were waiting for them!! Ahhhh… sooo wonderful!

More adventures to follow!!

You often hear how the Lord cares for the little things in life, yet it’s rare we give Him the credit for those little blessings that come along in life.

It’s no secret that since returning to the States finances have not been something we’ve had in abundance.  Don’t get me wrong, we’ve never gone hungry, or suffered from not seeing the doctor, been late on all our bills or called by a collection agency or anything like that… but, there have been months when every dime we’ve had pretty much just went to standard living… food, electric, water, gas and the like.  This  means that often gifts and things like clothes get put off or missed completely for a while.  It gets a little old when you have friends having babies or getting married or are having surgery and need a meal, and there you are, unable to purchase them even the smallest of gifts, or fix them a batch of soup or make up a simple casserole.

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord ever missed a bridal or baby shower, or brought a casserole to a friend.  But then I remember, He’s on the “man” side of human nature in His earthy role… so, these weren’t his concerns in the day.  That was left for the Marry’s and the Martha’s J

Last Christmas was another one of those times for us.  Thankfully I had shopped earlier in the year for the girls gifts and had them nicely tucked away for Christmas.  But Sam and I had decided that it was not going to be a year that we could find gifts for each other.  I was fine with that, Christmas for me isn’t about the gifts and it doesn’t change my understanding that Sam loves me if I don’t get a gift from him on Christmas. But I had a baby shower coming up.  It was a special friend, it was her first baby… I wanted to go, and I wanted a gift.  My heart was broken that I couldn’t get her anything.  Finally I spoke with Sam and he said that since we weren’t gifting each other, if I didn’t get stockings either I could pick up a gift for the baby shower.  I was so excited to have my $30 limit!   I got on line and looked at her registry.  Tried  to find something I’d like to purchase her.   I found a gift in my price range and headed out the door to the shower intending on stopping at the store on the way!

I got to the store and searched high and low.  I pulled the paper registry to find the isle location for the item I had chosen… it wasn’t there.  After getting the assistance of three workers, I gave up the hunt.  Having no idea what to pick up for my friend I searched the isles… then I found it!!!! The item that I had wanted for my friend was right there, tucked behind a bunch of other items!!!  I was sooooo excited.  Knowing I was on a tight budget, and not wanting to humiliate myself by getting up there and finding out the item was more than I expected I did what I always do… I found the little scanning machine so it would tell me exactly how much the store was going to charge me.  Beep… item not found.   Beep… Item not found… grrr… Running out of time I decided to risk it.  I headed up to the check out, item in hand, just praying it wasn’t over the $30 limit I swore to Sam I’d stick under!

Finally it was my turn in line.  I readied myself to grab a gift card in the event that the item was over the price I had expected it to be.  Beep… manager assistance needed.  Great… As the manager approached I realized it was one of the ladies that was helping me in the isle.  I told her excitedly that I actually found one (contrary to the computer that said there was none!)  “Wow, this really is your lucky day” she says as she reaches over and types in her managers code.  The young man that was attempting to check me out says, “That’ll be six dollars and seventy three cents please.”  WHAT!?!?!  “Yep says the manager, you found one that was on final clearance.” Hallelujah!  Not wanting to arrive there and find out she decided she didn’t need said item that I purchased I grabbed a gift card for $20 (so she could take it back and get something at the price that I had intended to gift her if she had changed her  mind.)   I left so thrilled, but ultra paranoid that the gift was one that was already purchased or no longer wanted (not that my friend would have cared at all… why do we stress like that!?!?!)  When she opened her gift, she was ultra excited!  It was the one thing she was hoping she would get still!  I was thrilled… not only had I chosen something my friend liked and would use every day, but I now had a gift card to purchase a Christmas gift for Sam with!!

I knew I wasn’t supposed to get Sam a gift, but I also knew that he had a need.  A need for a pair of jeans that didn’t allow for others to know the color of his under garments!! When I returned to the store a week later, I found not only jeans for the gift card price, but also a nice new top that would allow him to wear some of his summer wear in the winter time as well!! PRACTICAL!!!!  The Lord sure was looking out for me that Christmas.  As His timing would have it, a check came in just in time, and I found a pretty little package for me wrapped up under the tree.

It’s silly really.  We would have lived without gifts for Christmas, and there was nothing so urgent about being able to purchase my friend a gift. But these were things that were dear to my heart… and the Lord worked it all out.  We are truly blessed!  Thanks !

Shortly after Sam and I were married and I moved into his flat, that became our flat, we realized that we were in dire need of more storage. Apartments on the other side of the ocean are very different than apartments in this country. They often come furnished (though, not always the nicest of furniture) but often you get an empty room with no cupboards, or cabinets (even in the kitchen) sometimes even light fixtures are no more than a bare bulb in the ceiling. We were fortunate that the flat we lived in had had a very nice “remont” or remodel. It was an old building, pre-Soviet for sure. It was lovely flat and I was so thankful for it. It’s peacefully painted green walls (no heavily patterned wall paper that is most often found). It was spacious enough and had nice high ceilings (to make it feel bigger than it really was) and it had a nice big safe feeling door. It had a nice clothes washer, and was blessed with a dryer that Sam bought me with wedding gift money we had received. We were also able to buy a beautiful red couch… the Lord took such great care of us and provided everything we needed. But there just wasn’t enough room in the one tiny skapis/???? or “wardrobe/storage cabinet” that we had. So, off to search for a skapis we went. Furniture over there is expensive and funds were pretty tight, so we decided we’d look at a few used furniture places. First we went to a few new furniture places, just so we knew what kinds of prices new furniture was. We went out to M?be?u nams (Furniture House, a place that had not as expensive furniture) and Jysk (the local “Ikea” type store for Latvia). Buying even bottom line new was going to hit the top of our budget. So, we went way out of town, across the river and to a part of town I had never been in to a used furniture store. Now, mind you, furniture for Sam and I is difficult enough to begin with. We come from very different sides of the style isle when it comes to what we like in a “look” for furniture! Anything I thought was antiquish or charming he thought was horrible “soviet”, anything sleek and modern that he liked I felt was cheap and chintzy! It was quite a challenge. Then there was cost. We had very little we could even spend on a skapis… so the challenge was considerable. After spending most of the day looking at furniture we finally found a piece in this second hand store that we BOTH could live with… the moment of truth… could we “afford it.” It was only 120Lvl!!!! WITHIN the budget, and considerably less than anything else we’d found out there to purchase! I was excited! It was a compromise, but one we could both live with! Finally a solution to having to cram things in every crevasse of our flat! It was a very functional piece, it was actually more like a series of pieces. It was more like several units that fit together to form one big piece, sort of more like we would consider a modular entertainment center actually. Some glass doors to display things in, some solid doors to hide things behind. We could actually split some of the pieces up and use it in the two rooms that was our apartment. I was excited, I was SOLD! Sam on the other hand, being who he is, felt the need to hit one last store before we “committed” to this piece. I was dead set against it. But, the piece had been there for quite a while. You could see that it had sat in the store for several weeks, as each week the price of the skapis was lowered a little bit. No one had wanted this skapis in the last two months… it should be fine… so off we went. The last store we visited was horrible. Pressboard items that were falling apart were over 200Lvl (think near $400) it was crazy… so back to the “sectional skapis” we went. We had been gone a grand total of two hours (it takes a long time to travel about over there). We headed to the very back of this wear house that was the “show room” and as we rounded the last isle of furniture I see the piece. I give a little smile and tell Sam to go ahead and look for someone on the floor to help us. That’s about the time that I saw it… the sign… p?rdod My heart sank! And I was a little bit more than disappointed in my husbands decision to continue “shopping around”. Poor Sam… I’m pretty certain I was not very kind to him on the way home, or the week that followed, when anything regarding a skapis or ???? was mentioned. Yep, I pretty much held it over his head. (SOLD). Shortly there after however we received an email through the “missionary network.” There was a couple down in Daugavpils (3 hour drive south) that was leaving Latvian and had furniture to sell, would anyone be interested! YES!! They had a wardrobe that was in the right price range, not knowing what it looked like at all, we said that yes, we believed we wanted it and would be down that weekend to purchase it. IT WAS PERFECT! It was exactly the style that Sam and I both liked enough to invest in, and the price was less than HALF what the “sectional skapis” would have cost us!!! Not only that, we saved so much on the wardrobe itself that we were also able to purchase the LOVELY BRAND NEW looking stove they had to replace the old busted “have to stick a wooden spoon in the door and hope the temperature is low enough to bake” crummy old soviet era model stove that our landlord had provided. I truly believe the Lord sent someone to buy that skapis out from under us that day. Specifically sent someone, to specifically buy it what felt like “out from under us” THAT day, in that two hours we had stepped away from it! He provided something so much better than I was hoping for or expecting (humm… sound familiar), not in MY timing, but in His. Yes, I apologized to Sam for being so mean to him, and for blaming him… and too this day when something doesn’t work out all he has to say is “Skapis” and I realize that I’m not the one who’s in control. Right now we’re waiting on another “skapis” story. Is it any easier to wait? No, not really… it should be, but it doesn’t always feel that easy. I don’t think anyone likes walking blindly, but that’s what we’re asked to do. We are blind in this world, but the Lord has our hands, and is gently saying “do you trust me?” I want to say yes, and through all my will I force myself to say yes… but it’s a lot of work to hold every thought captive. So, today I will chant “Skapis” humm I might even just go find how to say it in every language Google Translate has J He’s taken care of me/us thus far… what makes me think He’s gonna stop now.. hum… wonder who that could be International translations for Skapis: Skapis, ????????, kas, veshjet, ?????, armari, ??, ??, garderoba, šatník, garderobe, riidekapp, lalagyan ng damit, vaatekaappi, garde-robe, Kleiderschrank, ????????????, ?????, ?????, fataskápur, lemari pakaian, armadio, ??????, drabuži? spinta, ??, gwardarobba, dulap, ?????, šatník, ???????????, t? qu?n áo, cwpwrdd, ??????????…

We’ve all been sick in this house.  Some sort of virus/bug got to all of us. Upset tummies, and gastro intestinal tracts, slight fevers.  Vienna recovered rather quickly, Sam did too… the rest of us battled a little bit (my mom and I still have headaches and don’t quiet feel well). But Ziva… well, something hit her hard.

One Thursday night, Sam and I actually got to go out on a date with some friends of ours.  Ziva’d had a bit of a fever, but nothing over 100, so it could easily be explained by that nasty process called teething.  My mother called about half way through dinner… her fever had gone up to 103.  Mimi gave her some baby Tylenol and they were able to get her down to sleep.  By the time we got home that night she’d returned to just around 100.  Friday, she was fine, under 100 and chipper so I didn’t take her into the doctor figuring she was on the mend.  Saturday her fever was up again… Sunday night it dropped to 94.7! She was cold, clammy and it was scary.  She was asleep when it dropped so it was difficult to decide if she was acting abnormally or not.  We called a family friend who is a doctor, woke the poor guy and his wife, also a dr in her residency, up.  He calmed us down a bit and because she’d been awake enough to seem to be acting normally.  Still nervous though Sam slept holding her all night long (poor guy).
So we took her in to the dr on Monday just to see what was up.  Her temp was back to just under 100, but no UTI, no ear infection, her lungs sounded clear… everything seemed normal.  We asked the dr what to do if she dropped that low again (unlike our family friend, this dr just seemed to think I was taking her temp wrong, or hadn’t bundled her or something like that) he told us to take her to the ER…. Monday night, sure enough… 94.7, cold and clammy. So at 10:30 at night we packed her up and headed to Silverton Hospital Emergency Room.  And so began the nightmare!!!!

Once in the ER they immediately put Ziva under a heat lamp.  Sam was holding her under, sitting on the bed, under the lamp.  Then they came in to take her blood! UUHHGG… it was horrible! She was a bit dehydrated, and so when three nurses were holding her down and trying to get the needle into her vein but couldn’t because it was rolling and couldn’t get it in… I wanted to die! The look of terror in Ziva’s eyes was horrible!! and I was standing at her head trying to calm her and she’s looking at me like “what are you letting them do to me!” I was ready to go home right then.  They added a warmed IV to try to help get her temp up… it still didn’t go up much.

At about 2pm after blood work, IV, heat lamp while being held, and chest x-ray the ER dr came back in and said she looked fine, but he was consulting with OHSU/Dornbecker Children’s hospital, an hour north, and it was likely they would want her admitted. He was very ho hum about the whole thing, he said he wouldn’t admit her but just send her home and just keep her warm but we’d see.  Dornbecker’s did say she should be admitted since she wasn’t warming up and her blood count was low… and since babies can turn so fast, we’d have to go by ambulance!  At least they didn’t feel like we had to have the PANDA (Special pediatric ambulance) transport her.  At this point with the ER dr’s attitude we felt fine, like this was just an extra precaution and all…  Sam drove home to pick up a few things and I went with Ziva in the ambulance.   It only took us 45 minutes   it was nice.  The drivers Steve and Chris were both really nice guys and were even smiles at that time in the morning.  That helped too.

About 4 a.m. we reached Dornbecker’s and got Ziva into her room.  Sam arrived about a half hour later (the doors were all locked for the night and one of the nurses ran down to let him in! so nice there).  They continued to give her warming blankets (I held her on my chest the rest of the night) and check her vitals, but she was still low (they kept thinking their equipment was malfunctioning because she kept dropping to 94.3 and never got over 95.8, if memory serves, that night)

The next morning the “troop” came through.  Since it is a teaching hospital there is a group of dr’s that do the rounds in the morning complete with residents and interns and dr’s and fellows and… like 6 people.  They were all very nice and all so concerned it seemed which surprised me.  But they still couldn’t figure out what would cause her temp to go so low. So, figuring it was most likely a virus they put us on a sort of quarantine.  Any medical staff that came in had to put aprons on (mostly to prevent other patients getting the virus if that wound up what was going on).  They did a bunch of tests for virus’ and said that the “blood people” are going to come in to talk to us about further testing they would like to do and that we’d likely spend another night. Here’s where things got interesting.

About 4pm the doctor comes in and introduces herself “hi, I’m so and so from oncology.” ONCOLOGY!?!?!? I thought this was just “blood people!” She starts explaining that Ziva’s marrow doesn’t seem to be doing what it should and her counts are all off  and they would like to do a bone biopsy to investigate further. I immediately freak out about leukemia as this is what my grandmother died of (it was a rare case…. she got some form that usually children get, and she died quickly).  The most dreadful night of our lives ensued!

Our friend Jenny is a Resident there at the hospital, so that night she came by and brought us pizza (Papa Johns, my favorite!) it was just what I needed to lift the spirits! She assured us that the were just being careful and that teaching hospitals “like to do tests.” But still, as a parent, when something like that is on the table, you want it off as soon as possible!!  (It was about this time that I realized that I was loosing the baby too, so it was doubly difficult).

Ziva’s test wasn’t until 12:30 the next day… needless to say it was a LONG morning. My parents an Vienna came back up for a second visit.  About one in the afternoon they took us off quarantine but no one talked to us as to why… As my dad always says “the absence of information leads to the worst case scenario!” That’s how it felt… it was awful waiting… Ziva’s main doctor came in to chat with us just before six that night, she was trying to wrap up and go home, but she stayed and talked with us for a while and was there when the Oncology dr’s came back in about seven that night!! All was well!!!  We were able to go home!!

Almost three weeks later all seems well. Ziva’s blood test came back and her counts are back up to normal.  She’s running around the house like crazy and smiling again (boy did I  miss her smile!!)  She’s still teething though, so we’re still a bit cranky, but she’s sleeping through the night again and her temps have been back in the normal range so PTL all turned out well!!!  PTL we have medical coverage for her and Vienna!  I’m still exhausted most of the time, but I am getting back to normal.

Hopefully this email is understandable… its taken me three days to write it with all the interruptions I’ve been getting   But that’s the jist of it all!

Sadly the Lord had plans for our baby that did not include him or her coming into this world safely.  We had complications early on, but were able to see a strong heart beat. Usually this means there’s 10% or less chance of miscarrying.  But, someone has to be in that 10% and this time it was ours. Its so hard to understand why these things happen… until you remember that this world is not perfect, and this world is just a temporary home. 

We live in a fallen world, which means, we live with imperfect bodies, and imperfect health. It does not mean however that our Lord does not love us or does not care for us or that He is not in control.  As sad as it is for us, who, in 9 short weeks, grew so very excited to meet our little one, we know that baby is now made perfect and has joined the Lord in heaven.  Life is full of loss, and life is full of tragedy. But through it all we hold fast to the truth that the Lord in heaven is in control. That when we have a relationship with him, we know where we are going.  We take heart in knowing that someday we’ll walk the streets in heaven and we’ll meet the little ones we never got to hold here on earth. (And hold tighter to the ones we do get to hold here!)